Starting Over?? I Guess?

Wow. So much to update. I quit school. I think the last year of school was a disaster for me. My bipolar flared up every single semester and I’d have a meltdown, never fail. The pressure I put on my self was too much. My meds have been completely revamped. I was gaining weight and nothing was moving it, so my Nurse Practitioner switched a few things up and I’m losing a little bit. It was not an easy decision to quit school. I struggled through feeling like a failure and the “what will everyone think” that most of us do, but I think I made the right choice. Why? Because as soon as I made the decision to quit, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. I feel like I have so many other interests and things that fulfill me in life that I don’t feel the need to have a job with “status”. That may sound elitist, I don’t mean it that way. I mean that, somewhere, deep inside me, I wanted to be admired for the career I had. To impress people with what I do. I don’t feel like that’s such a good motive, but I’m being totally honest here. And yes, I do love science and biology and learning. The learning will never stop for me. I love learning. And teaching. I can find ways to pursue all these things in my life without freaking out over another degree!

I got a job! I am a teacher assistant at T-Lo’s school! I will work with disabled and developmentally delayed preschoolers. Waxing philosophical, I’d say that this job has a lot of meaning for me. Why? Because I feel like if I can help, in whatever small way, kids and parents who are dealing with some of the issues we’ve dealt with with T-Lo, then the Dark Days when T-Lo was born won’t have been in vain. A positive will come out of it. Other than an awesome little human that I’m proud to be related to!! But those days were tough, and the idea that my knowledge can maybe help someone else is intriguing to me. And I get to play with kids all day!! Who wouldn’t love that??

So that is the major thing for us at Primal Dawn headquarters. The boys are doing really well in school. Mr. Dawn is freaking out about how much money we’ve spent this Christmas. I’m still working on simplifying and making life more meaningful for my family. We all watch too much television and play too many video games still. But we’re working on it. As I’ve always told you guys, we are works in progress. I’m not perfect and I’m pretty sure you’re not either. But every day is a chance to do better than before!!! Gawd, I’m getting sick of myself, I better go! Too many warm-fuzzy hippie vibes for me! I need some metal!!!! \m/ \m/ (those are my metal horns)

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