Taking A Step Back

I started with a new therapist last night. My old group was meeting at a time that now doesn’t work with my school schedule. So I got a recommendation from my Nurse Practitioner. I was nervous. Finding a therapist is like dating kind of. You have to click, and sometimes that means going to a few before you get the right one. She seems to be very goal-oriented. I love this, because I am on a quest to be my very best, and that takes action, not just whining to someone with a notepad once a week. We talked a bit about my background and where I am in life right now. She gave me homework. What was my homework for the week? Breathing. Yep, breathing. I am to stop what I’m doing 3 times a day and do a breathing exercise. I can also do it when I’m feeling stressed or anxious. I am loving it so far. It is very soothing and calms me right down.

She also suggested something called EMDR. I don’t really know much about it, and my therapist is NOT an actual EMDR clinician, but she has me listening to this music that has the auditory cues embedded in it. She said it is good for people who’ve had trauma. And, although I don’t talk about it here, I would qualify as someone who’s experienced trauma. I’m curious, skeptical, and open-minded.

She also thinks that I’m taking on too much at one time. I need to step back and start over. So…..instead of trying to do yoga, body weight intervals, some running, hula hooping, meditation (remember the Buddhism kick I’m on??), and keeping up with my family, school, and housework, she wants me to just do the breathing. We can work up to the other things one at a time. I like that. I feel a big weight off my shoulders. It’s weird. I didn’t really NEED permission to step back and reassess, but that’s kind of exactly what I got. That it’s okay to do that. Because if we’re being totally honest here, I’ve been horrid at keeping any of the goals I set for myself. I am getting overwhelmed and thus frozen in place. I obviously have to tend to my family and school, but the others can wait.

So I’m breathing. I picture all the yuck and negativity leaving my bod, and inhale fresh oxygen. And as we all know, oxygen is good!!!

T-Lo has his birthday “get-together” tomorrow. I’m refusing to call it a party. We are meeting 3 of his classmates at a certain famous kiddie place with a mouse for a mascot (no, not Disney! the other place with a mouse/rat thing). Then we are just going to play and eat. No cake or anything. Just like a special playdate. This is the year of simplifying and not stressing. I think, especially out here on Long Island, there’s so much pressure to do these big extravagant things…it’s just too much. Keeping up with the Joneses. I’m out. I will not do this. And my kids don’t even care!! J had 2 friends over for his birthday and had pizza and played in the snow. Yay. He was happy.

I went to the phlebotomist yesterday. I had orders from 3 different doctors: allergist, endocrinologist, and gastro. Guess how many tubes of blood they took? Guess. 15. No, I am not kidding. I’m a hard stick too, so I was pretty impressed with this woman’s skillz. So yeah, one step closer to figuring this out, I figure. Stay tuned, I’m sure some sort of drama will ensue 😉



2 thoughts on “Taking A Step Back

  1. Aw – what a beautiful post. Hope you feel better soon, and I am going to take some of these breathing recommendations from you and your therapist and implement in my own life. I so forget to breath. Have fun w the rat. 🙂

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