Growth Hurts

I was talking to Mr. Dawn last night about my difficulty in precalculus. I’ve managed to score just under a C on each test. Yes, that would mean Ds. Like 2 points off of a C. I hate it. Out of my 4 classes, I’m spending the most time on math. I could admit defeat and suck it up that I’m just not going to be “good at math”. However, I am choosing to see this as a growth opportunity. A life lesson. You see, in high school and early college, it was easy. I didn’t have to study hard for my As. I graduated at the top of my class. This might seem great, but it is a double-edged sword. I didn’t develop good study habits. Now it’s coming back to bite me in a big way. I am a perfectionist, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let a math class punk me. Now it’s personal. The life lesson, I think, is that if everything came easily to me, it wouldn’t be as precious or valued as the things that take blood, sweat, and tears. Forgive the utter cheesiness of what I’m about to say: think of the blooming of a flower. That shit hurts probably. Tearing out of a bud?? Giving birth? Painful. Uncomfortable. Working at a relationship? That is some of the toughest stuff you could ever do. And it hurts sometimes. But those things are the most beautiful, valuable things in life. And they make you stronger. So, I’m choosing to look at the positive. You can too.

Started my C25K again. Starting week 2 tomorrow. I’m loving moving my body again. Even if it’s just cardio. It’s something, right? I totally hate the first 5 or 6 minutes of running. I’m fighting a battle in my head to just push the stop button and go eat some cheese. Mmmm….cheese. So anyway, I fight the battle, and it’s SO hard, but then I find my groove, and I zone out on my music, and before I know it, it’s over. There’s a theme here in this post, I’m seeing. Perseverance. Good stuff.

My eating is going so well. I’ve been so busy that I often just eat a snack during the day, and then a full dinner. I’m just not hungry during the day. With this pattern, I find my dinner is actually smaller than what I used to eat. I guess my stomach is a little smaller, maybe? My go-to snacks are string cheese and raw almonds. I keep almonds in my backpack for school. I’m consistently dropping weight. It’s excruciatingly slow, but that’s good, right? They say that’s how to keep it off long-term.

Oh, I almost forgot! I got a new ‘do. It’s definitely me, but the first day I was freaking out a little cuz I wasn’t sure I was pulling it off. What kind of ‘do requires attitude to pull off? This one:

Yes, my friends, that’s a combo faux-mohawk/mohawk. I call it my mo-faux-hawk. Get it? Mofo?? This was the first day and it’s not such a great pic, but I’ll be taking more and show you how I rock it soon. Oh here’s another with more of the back showing:

I’m loving it.


2 thoughts on “Growth Hurts

  1. Lovin’ the hair. Oneday a long time from now when my dreads go bye bye, I’m going to rock my hair up kind of like that too. I’m going to call it my “Roo-Doo” after my roosters. :-p

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