Fun Day

We’re all getting better here. It’s about damn time, I’m thinking. So, to celebrate, we’re off to geocache! I’ve written up 4 for us today. 3 in a local park, and one…not in the park. So, since we’re gonna be in a park and all, I have been instructed, well plied with hugs and kisses and sad puppy-faces, to let the kids play on the playground when we’re done. Have I mentioned that I’m such a bad mom, I rarely take the kids to playgrounds, even though J’s elementary school is less than a quarter mile  away? Why? Mama gets bored. Seriously, I can only sit on that sad wooden bench they give ya for about 10 minutes. I get like ADD or something. Sure, I walk around the playset for a while, oohing and aahing and cheering them on, but inside, I’d rather be reading a book or at least hooping in my yard. So they’ll have their little piece of heaven today. I’ve promised. Then we’ll feed the ducks. Cannot wait to see the little one with the ducks, they’ll be almost as big as him. I personally think he’s going to flip out, but we’ll see.

School is just around the corner, really really really now. Tuesday’s the big day! Eek! I’m so excited. Modern Biology 2. Sounds fancy. And hard. But, hey I actually loved Bio 1, so I’m looking forward to this one. I like gettin’ my nerd on! I like being able to answer J’s incessant questions. Usually in the car. It sounds like this:

J-Mom, what are farts made of?

J-Why do we have curly or straight hair?

J-What happens when you die? Does it hurt? (okay that one was just weird and I had no answer…)

J-How do ants know where their food is?

J-What are our nails made of?

J-How do our muscles work?

Yeah, good thing I’m gonna be a biology teacher. I gotta keep up with this kid!

Primal living is going well. Last night was whole grain spaghetti and meat sauce for them, and zucchini sauteed in coconut oil with meat sauce for me. My shoulder is feeling great, so exercise is coming up. I’m planning on beginning my boxing again next Wednesday. So excited!! I’m still losing anywhere from a 1/2-1 pound every week or so. Sooooo slow. But its’ all good. I just keep thinking, I gained it slowly, so it’s better to come off slower. Then I have a better chance of keeping it off. And I’m expecting to see a plateau once I start boxing for a bit. Gaining muscle and whatnot. I’m mentally preparing for that.

So what are you looking forward to? A race? Time with family? Both?

Still Here

We’ve been sick over here in La Casa de Primale. First the little one had it, then he gave it to J, and now mama’s got it. And mama’s got cramps. Yeah. It’s been a sucky week so far.

We had some babydaddy drama. I won’t give the deets here, but it’s all been smoothed over and we’re all happy happy joy joy again. I’m a conflict avoider/mediator type person, and I’m learning the hard way that if you want something, you have to say it, or you’ll never get it and it can fester and get ugly. I can be a doormat at times, and I can be taken advantage of by people who know me at all. But like I said, I’m learning. And that’s what it’s all about. I’m feeling ever so grown-up and mature now.

Along with the cramps mentioned above, I’ve had terrible cravings. For sugar and carbs. I’ve indulged here and there, nothing too major. But it’s never as satisfying as I build it up to be in my head. Why is that? I guess I’m idealizing the junk. Like it really is as good and wonderful as I think it is. But it’s always a let down. I should just take the lesson and move on. But I’m sure I’ll muck it up again. I’m human. Old habits die really really hard, I guess.

In other, more wonderful news: My shoulder is feeling almost 100% again! Woo hoo! Just in time too, because my commitment to go boxing 3 days a week starts next Wednesday! Aaaaah! Mama’s scurred. But I know once I get there I’ll feel all badass and fall back into it no problem. Know why? Because I AM a badass. I punch stuff. For fun. With pretty pink gloves.

School countdown is on like donkey kong. I start in T-Minus 6 Days. I’m eager to get going. There is also fear and anxiety involved, but I can usually ignore that pretty well. I mean, I’m 35 and I’m going to be starting out as a teacher, if all goes well, at 38! I suppose that makes me a late bloomer. But at least I’m blooming, dammit! And the more I delve into biology, the more I love it and enjoy explaining it to people. Good qualities for a biology teacher, don’t you think? I do.

Well, there’s my update. Not much. Just recuperation, trying to stay primal, and waiting for school. I’ll be back hardcore once we’re all better here. Now excuse me while I go hunt down a primal snacky snack!!!

Dagnabbit!

Yes, dagnabbit. A word I uttered a few times yesterday. Then I felt OLD. Who the heck says “dagnabbit”?? Jackson thought it was a bad word and wondered what it meant, but wouldn’t say the word to ask. It was funny. I told him it was okay to say. Like “poppycock”. Funny old-timey word.

Yesterday’s geocaching was a no-go. Both boys have little fevers. No other symptoms. I hope it goes away soon, because it’s holding us back, dammit!

In primal news: You know you’ve been eating a lot of meat when your bacon-and-burger loving honey says, “I’m feeling ‘meated’ out lately. Do you think we could just have salad tonight?” I’ll do ya one better, Mr. Dawn. How about a lovely eggplant-zucchini parmigiana?? Huh? Huh? I sliced the eggplant into rounds and the zuccini lengthwise into long slices. Then I “breaded” them in an egg dip and then a blend of coconut and almond flour with some secret herbs and spices and a little parmesan thrown in. Fry fry fry, drain drain drain, layer layer layer with some homemade tomato sauce and mozzarella. Bake up at 350F til brown and bubbly, or until the smell drives you insane and you can’t wait any longer! Then, to keep with the theme, I actually served sliced heirloom tomatoes on the side. What can I say, we’ve got a bunch from the CSA and I need to use them up! It was a tomato-fest! Even J, who was like, “I hate eggplant!!”, tried it and liked it. He told me, “Mom, this is the only way I like eggplant. Remember that.” Okey-dokey, son. Will do.

In hula hooping news: I am starting to narrow down the candidates for “Primal Dawn’s Inaugural Hula Hoop Stunt”, aka My First Hoop Trick. I am looking at transferring the hoop behind my back, or trying the comical looking (and sounding) Booty Bump. The Booty Bump looks a little harder, but it makes me smile watching people do it! The behind-the-back transfer is in the lead, though. It looks doable to me. But I could be wrong. What do I know about hoop tricks??

In academia (that’s school) news: My professor for Culture and Environment finally opened the discussion that I needed to comment on. We had to watch a video on Ho Chi Minh City and then comment. Well, I was an eager-beaver and did this like 2 weeks ago. All I can say is, good thing I took notes! So I had all my little impressions and observations written so I wouldn’t forget them. Now I’m stalking the precalculus 1 site, which is still not open. It says it starts on September 1st. I really really hope it gets opened beforehand, because there’s always a little lag while you try to get your feet wet, learning the format for discussion and homework submission. I like to be prepared. Like a Boy Scout. Or FEMA.

Here’s to a day of rest and relaxation. It’s Sunday, after all. Take it easy. I know I will. But keep it healthy and delicious!

Positivity

Here’s a great post that my blog buddy Ag wrote. She is a very happy-go-lucky, positive person. In this post she describes taking the good stuff out of every encounter and leaving the not-so-good behind. I am someone who tries to see the good, or the light, in every person I meet. This is a double-edged sword. If I’m not careful or prudent, I am prone to being taken advantage of. However, I don’t let this fear stop me! I still choose to see people for the best. It’s a contrast to Mr. Dawn, who sometimes only sees the bad in humanity. Sometimes it’s a bad thing, sometimes, like when he doesn’t want to meet new people because, in his words, “They are always disappointing me.” But sometimes, like this one time, when a mom of a classmate of J’s called and, from meeting me once, asked me to watch her two kids so she could go talk to social services to get her lights turned back on (???), it’s a great life skill. I said yes, having a soft spot for a struggling single mom. Well, Mr. Dawn had his ‘feelers’ up and didn’t like the sound of it one bit. He ended up being right. I watched her boys ALL DAY, like 6 hours. And afterwards, she’d only text me when she needed someone to watch them. Not a playdate. Someone to take both her kids off her hands. A user in every sense of the word. Somehow, we are always busy when she texts now:)

Would I do things differently? Nope. I’d rather take a risk than allow myself to be closed off to new experiences. I may get burned now and then, but it’s all good. Life is about learning and taking those chances. What is it “they” say (whoever “they” are), better to regret something you did, than something you didn’t? I love that idea.

Today we are going geocaching for the third time ever!!! I’m so excited. Honestly, J is not into it, but I pretty much told him no, he would not be sitting on his butt playing video games and watching tv all day. He’s a homebody. Once I get him out, though, he’ll be fine. I staked out 4 caches for us today, 3 of which are in a local park. So I’m thinking after caching, the boys can play on the playground and then feed the ducks! Good, clean family fun. Wish us luck! It’s a sort of last hurrah, since next weekend we (and by ‘we’, I mean Mr. Dawn) are going to start a massive remodeling project. We’re taking out the fireplace from downstairs. The brickwork of the chimney is pulling away from the house, so we’re having a company do the demolition, then Mr. Dawn will close the hole and make a pretty wall there for us!   So there will be no more leisurely summertime activities, as I start school the 31st (eeeek!).

My primal life is going well. My shoulder is finally starting to get better. Can I get an amen?? I’m thinking that within a few days I can start working out again. Bodyweight workouts to start, and eventually I’d like to add some sprint intervals in. I’m eyeballing this interval timer (yes, pink). It seems like a decent price and it does what I need it to do. Do you have any experience with this timer or any others I should know about? Let me know!

Eating is such a pleaser with this primal life. I just love making and eating my grub now! We had a scrumdiddliumptious red curry chicken last night from my friend, Crock Pot. Frozen chicken thighs, red curry paste (just throw in a few spoonfuls), onion, green pepper, garlic powder (I ran out of fresh), ginger, a pinch of chili powder (weird, I know), some dark soy sauce, a can of coconut milk, and some fish sauce. Don’t be afraid of the fish sauce!!! Anyways, get that in the pot sometime in the morning, then go about your business, and voila, at din-din you will have an awesome meal!! I served this with rice for my cavebabies and cavemate. You could even throw a diced potato or two in there, or some frozen peas. Mmmm.

I’m down another pound. Yep. Slow and steady. I can take it. It’s weird, because the weight is coming off so slowly that it’s hard to see the change visually. But I remain confident that the best way for me to keep the extra poundage off is to do it this slowly. No deprivation and sustainable. Mama likey! Again, that positive attitude at work.

So I leave you with an idea of how things are around here at my home:

Yes, that’s a fireman hat. My little one felt the need to make me wear it all evening the other night. It’s alright, he got the EMS cap. Pay no mind to the cheeseball grin! Mr. Dawn came home to find me like this. He was amused.

Update: Both boys have low grade fevers. No geocaching. Wah. Mama’s sad!

Indestructible

This explains a lot today:

Indestructible. I’m feelin’ on top of my game today. Woe to anyone who tries to get in my way. “In my way” can take many forms. You know, those thunder-stealers, Debbie Downers, Negative Nellies. I simply have no time for it today. I’ve even got my war-paint and armor on…well, pink and green eyeshadow and a pin-up style cherry print dress that makes me feel all “ooh la la”. And lip gloss. No she-warrior is complete without it. Trust me. Take a minute to take care of yourself and you’ll feel better the rest of the day. And I’m not even going anywhere special today!

Call it swagger, if you will. Some days you feel it, others- not so much. But I try really hard to subscribe to the “fake it til you make it” attitude. It’s not always easy. As some of you know, I am a bipolar bear (heehee) and it can make it that much harder to get my swagger on. But when I’m feeling “off”, I try to get out of my head. Easier said than done. What I mean is, I am aware of my mental illness, and I try to step outside of myself and look objectively at what I’m feeling. Does it work all the time? Most definitely not. But it’s a coping strategy that can help. Sometimes I fail miserably. But sometimes….I can pick myself up and put my armor on. And I fake it. And I make it. Being the bio nerd that I am, I try to remember that this is not “real”, it is a function of the chemicals, or lack of chemicals, in my brain. Totally less scary than curled-up-in-the-fetal-position-chanting “I’m crazy…I’m crazy….I’m crazy…”

And this always helps me too:

What is your armor? How do you deal with the “blues” or mental illness? What makes you feel “Indestructible”?

What in Tarnation?!

My time setting was all off. I got shot into the future by a day! I was checking my post from yesterday, and it said today’s date. Grrrr….stupid “UTC-” whatever time thing. But, I fixed it. I am back from the future!

Meatzza tonight. I will not, repeat, not make a little (okay, big) piggie out of myself. Last time sucked. My tummy hurted!

I am this close to taking my lame-o shoulder to the ortho. It’s just not getting better. I want to work out! Tying shoes and folding laundry are painful. Good excuse to get out of laundry duty though. Like I need an excuse.

True Blood. I know you guys watch it. Just don’t tell me anything from the current season. A while back, we cut our cable down to basic to save money. It’s awesome, but it also means I’m watching Season 2 of True Blood from Netflix. Did you all see the Rolling Stone cover? What, you didn’t see this:

Dang! Bloody naked people!

I have made a new facebook friend. She is a hula hooper out here on Long Island. I have asked her advice as to what trick I should start with as well as where to look. I’m pretty sure it’s something I need to figure out for myself, but I figure it can’t hurt to ask, right? And she looks all cool and edgy and awesome with her hoopiness.

Primalness is going well. I love cheese. I know it’s not ‘strictly’ Primal, but I can handle not reaching primal perfection. It’s part of my 20%. You know, the 80/20 Rule? It means I can have my cheese and eat it too, suckahs. I’ve been thinking about this principle a lot recently. I really think that 20% is so generous. It’s a remnant of my old “dieting” mentality: Perfection at all times, or you suck and aren’t worthy of living in society!!! It’s so freeing to just realize that perfection is not attainable, so just stop trying and deal with it. This is not to say we should strive to be the best we can be, but “perfection”? Not gonna happen. And that’s okay by me. Like I tell my kiddos, if everyone were the same, the world would be very boring. It’s good to be different. And it’s our imperfections that make us different.

How do you apply 80/20 in your life? It’s not really all about the food, is it? I think I’m an 80/20 wife and mom, too. Okay, 90/10. I am a really awesome wifey-to-be and mom;)

I’m Alive

Uh huh so alive….(Love and Rockets, anyone?)

I’m trucking along over here in my corner of the world. I finally got my Primal Blueprint book, yay! I have to say it’s kind of overwhelming and I just skimmed a lot for now. I’ll dig in more later. It was funny the day it came: I ran to the window when I heard the mail truck. I watched the mailman, looking for a package vaguely book-shaped, anything dammit, and nothing. *sigh*…..mailtruck takes off. Wait a sec, he’s back!!! And he’s got a cardboard bookie-looking package for me!!! He forgot it and had to double back to deliver it. I was a happy Dawn.

Hula hooping is coming along nicely. I’m keeping it up for a little bit at a time. Haven’t tried any tricks. Yet. Other than hooping with my arm. That’s fun. Until one of the kids walks into it. Mr. Dawn made me another, bigger hoop. I’m using the bigger one more. It just feels better. I have visions of posting some crazy hoop dancing on this blog one day. And it might even be me doing the hooping!

Went to the endocrinologist yesterday. I pretty much rock. My pressure was 115/70. All of that blood they took? Remember all those vials I was talking about? Everything was fine. I didn’t get the deets, but I’ll take ‘fine’ any day. She noticed I had gained weight. I should explain: last time I went I was doing a very popular plan, where you purchase soy-laden bars, shakes, and soups. It was around oh…..900 calories. You read that right. 900 calories. Of course I lost weight! I was starving!!! So I told the doctor, hey, I was doing this crazy bar/shake thing and eating 900 calories, I lost weight, but you can’t sustain that. She nodded and told me I was right. Then she asked what I was doing now. I told her it was sort of low-carb (which is very good for people with hypothyroidism, btw), low-to-no sugar, lots of meats and veggies and some fruits. She said that was great and to keep it up. Again, happy Dawn:)

So, the moral of the story: yes, you can eat like a king and have a happy healthy lifestyle too! They aren’t mutually exclusive! I have never eaten so much unsalted butter, whole milk full fat cheese, and red meat in my life (blue cheese butter on steak, try it, love it). And I’m NOT constantly thinking of my next meal! And remember how mom always said breakfast was the most important meal? I struggled with this all the time. I am just not hungry in the morning. Now? I don’t eat til lunch most days.

Dinner last night was yummy: homemade tomato sauce with ground beef, served over spaghetti for the family, and over zucchini sauteed in coconut oil for moi. It was good stuff! I can’t take away the family’s pasta just yet. I’d have a mutiny. I just don’t have the stomach for it just now. As a mother, an important lesson is to choose your battles. And I say, “Let them eat pasta.” Not cake, though.

To all my domestically inclined readers: How do you reconcile what you believe about diet and nutrition to what your family prefers/demands? Do you go all out and make everyone eat primally, or do you loosen the rules a little for them? Most days we do just eat a meat, prepared simply, with an assortment of veggies. Pasta’s probably once every two weeks. How does this work in your house?

If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy

And Mama ain’t happy. Yep, I’m on a tear, so to speak. I full on yelled at Mr. Dawn this morning. He said something to me for like the gazillionth time and I just snapped. Then he asked me a question and I didn’t really care for the tone, and I yelled some more. Then I go to J’s closet to start to take inventory and see what we need to buy for the school year, and the shelves I just frickin’ organized the other day are wrecked. AND….I tripped over and stepped on no less than 4 toys on my way to the closet. Mr. Dawn sought shelter in the office room with the door closed. When I checked on him he told me he didn’t want to be around me right now. If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I can go from 0-bitch in a nanosecond, and I calm down and forget about it just as quickly. I’m an Aries. Fire sign. Play with fire and you get burned. And I’m notoriously stubborn. So when he said he didn’t want to be around me, I very flippantly replied, “Fine. I don’t want to be around you, either!” Then I wandered into the living room, mumbling to myself, “I gotta get outta here….”

I didn’t get outta here. I cooled down and let Mr. Dawn do the same. Although we are both being very cautious in our phrasing of things to each other. We are walking a fine line today, people. A powder keg that could blow at any moment! I did manage to calm myself. I told J that he was to clean every toy from the floor, since I now had to go through everything in his closet and I wanted to be able to do so comfortably, as in not stepping on and tripping over crap. Then, as added punishment, I pulled all his pants into a big pile and made him try each pair on and relegate them to 3 piles: too small, too big, and just right. Take that. Yes, I’m evil. And somehow he survived:) Trust me, there were a LOT of pants. He gets hand-me-downs from his father’s girlfriend’s son who is a few years older than J.

Come to think of it, the only one in the house who hasn’t pissed me off is the Little One. He’s managed to remain unscathed during all of this. Although, it was pretty funny when, after yelling at Mr. Dawn, little one just smiled and said, “Watcha doin’ Mama??” It was so cute. He seems to ‘get’ me. And I had to smile back. And feel guilty. I’m a mom. That’s what we do.

So I’m pretty much back to normal, I think. Mr. Dawn has retreated to the garage to clean it up before a big remodeling project we are planning. That’s probably for the best.

Gonna hoop today. I was hoping to geocache, but my arthritis is making me kind of miserable right now. Driving and possibly bush-whacking doesn’t sound fun. Maybe next weekend we’ll try to go again.

On another completely unrelated front: I’ve been pondering sewing again. I haven’t touched my machine or any fabric for months now. Part of it is I’m a selfish sewer, and only make stuff for myself. AND….I was thinking that I didn’t want to make stuff while I’m feeling so overweight and icky, because apparently I was going to drop all this weight and then nothing I made would fit. Well, I’m not going to let some idealized goal that I have in my head stop me from sewing stuff for my currently chunky monkey bod. So what if it doesn’t fit someday. I’ll just figure out how to take it in, make new stuff, or both. But like I said, we are in the ‘pondering’ stage. I went down to my studio (actually the kitchen of the downstairs apartment we had), and washed my big sewing table. It had beer rings and some hardened barbecue sauce on it. Did I mention it’s right by the sliding glass doors which are right next to the grill? Then I started organizing some of the counter space. It had kind of fallen into disarray. So, no pressure or anything, just ‘pondering’.

So back to what this blog is supposed to be about: primalocity:) I finally ordered The Primal Blueprint last Thursday. They sent me an email saying it was shipped Friday. Today makes it over a week. I still don’t have the book. I am going to call Monday and find out what happened. So yeah, primal stuff…..I’m eating well. I think maybe I will drop the nightly snacky-snack of fruit, yogurt, nuts, and honey. I think it may be stalling weight loss. Not that I’m chasing a giant loss each week, but I was losing around a pound a week, and this seems to have slowed. But damn, it’s so good. Tonight we’re having steak and some variety of veggies again. Last night’s veggies were a cucumber (from OUR garden), heirloom tomato, and red onion salad, and some grilled corn on the cob. I know, corn’s not really primal, but we eat it so rarely, and we got 4 ears from our CSA share. And you wanna hear something totally grody? The corn comes with free worms in the tip of the corn under the silk!!! Ewwwww!!!! Apparently, since the farm is organic, there’s no safe way to get rid of this particular worm. So the farmer’s have schooled us all in how to deal: just chop off the tip and throw the nasty bits away. We have been offered corn three times this year. The first time, we took it, and did the minor surgical procedure. The second time, I was kind of skeeved by the whole thing and didn’t take the corn. Yesterday, Mr. Dawn fetched the share, and he brought it home.

How’s your weekend going ? Do you wanna kill anyone or at least bite their head off like me? What are you eating? Talk to me, people!!!

Hula Hoopin’ Beeyotch

I did it! I kept that damn plastic circle in the vicinity of my waist for more that 10 seconds!!! Although, I was sort of egged on by the snorts and chuckles of Mr. Dawn, who was NOT invited to watch me from the stairs. Someone on one of the boards I post on said something about looking  like “Jabba the Hut stuck on a spin cycle”….um yeah. Kinda like that. She was referring to herself, not me, by the way. That would just be rude. But I have to tell ya: it is so impossible to be miserable while hooping. Try it. Bet you can’t do it. Go on. Do it! I double dog dare you. Now you pretty much have too. All this hoopla (hardee har har) even got J to bust his hoop out. We were two hoopin’ fools on a mission.

Foodstuffs. I’m a’ight. Made my totally killer primal jalapeno bacon poppers again. These are a weekend ritual now. So greasy, so cheesy, so….YUM. A plate of these at around 11 or 12 and I’m good til dinner. Speaking of, we’re having kielbasa and some sort of plethora of veggies from the CSA share that we get today.

Oh. The scale. Yeah. Up two pounds. I’m convinced my 2 ‘carbs be damned’ days did that. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. The bloating and other unpleasantness is almost completely gone. Yay!

Do any of you have any experience with arthritis? This shoulder of mine is still nagging me. I’m going to do some research, but I just thought I’d throw it out there if anyone’s got any advice. It’s kinda sucky right now for me. And it’s getting worse.

I have given myself a goal. Once my shoulder heals up, of course. I am going to go boxing 3 days a week after school starts. I have 3 days during the week where I have no classes to attend. It’s in the morning. If I throw on workout clothes in the morning, then I can just hop in the car after the boys catch their buses. Totally doable, right?? I know! And oh how I miss my boxing. I want to punch stuff. Hard.

So here’s to an awesome, active, healthy weekend to you all! I’m lifting a frosty Coke Zero to ya! I know, I know….I’m working on it…..damn you aspartame!!!